"I feel uncertain about where I stand with my partner." Here's what to do if you're feeling unsure.

Are you in a relationship with someone who makes you feel anxious and a bit unsure about things and where you stand…

Yet you're successful in every other area of your life?

If so, you likely have some unresolved internal blocks around your own sense of worthiness, emotional safety, and feeling genuinely loved.

And unless you address these at a subconscious level (which your typical talk therapy typically can’t reach), your relationship patterns won’t shift.

Whether it’s this person or someone else…

You’ll continue attracting this SAME dynamic.

You’ll continue feeling stuck with the same treatment.

You’ll continue feeling bad about your relationship...

...Feeling lonely, unsupported, and likely quite misunderstood.

Here is why.

Most humans have a series of subconscious blocks, buried deep in their psyche, deep in their personality. This is quite 'normal'.

These patterns often trace back to early childhood dynamics.

Now, if you are someone whose emotional needs were inconsistently met, dismissed, or ignored entirely, you will have blocks that show up in your relationships.

That doesn’t mean you had a “bad childhood” by the way - many high-functioning professionals grew up in stable, high-achieving households.

But emotional attunement may have been lacking. Even if on a very subtle level.

Because our parents aren’t perfect and parenting back then, frankly, was far from perfect!

(It’s not even perfect, now, of course).

You may have been praised for performance but not comforted during times of distress ('stop crying').

Or maybe you were told to “toughen up” when what you needed was tenderness.

Or, like most high performers, perhaps you were taught that love was something you got in big doses after doing something impressive, or 'good'.

These early messages shape what your nervous system now registers as 'safe' and 'normal'.

This is the blueprint, your wiring, your patterns that you have grown up with and feel familiar.

And therein lies the problem.

Because if emotional inconsistency was your baseline growing up, then inconsistency in adulthood feels oddly familiar...and safe.

Even desirable.

It’s normal to you, it’s familiar, it’s what you crave because it reminds you of your childhood.

So even if it’s not good, even if you dislike it…it’s your baseline of what is ‘normal’.

Now, here’s the fun part ;)

The Reticular Activating System (RAS) is the part of your brain that acts like a filter.

It screens out most of what you experience and zeroes in on what it deems relevant.

Your RAS is trained by past experience and core beliefs.

So if your childhood belief is “I have to prove myself to receive love” or “connection requires me to self sacrifice” - your RAS will filter for partners and situations that validate that.

Hence you end up dating mommy / daddy.

Your RAS will miss the signals of genuine safety.

And it will downplay the red flags (because they are familiar)

And it will amplify the emotional highs and lows you’re subconsciously wired to chase.

This is almost a subconscious “drama addiction” - because it’s your unresolved patterns chasing the dysfunction you had as a child, which creates drama, and creates, quite frankly, misery for your adult life.

So what happens?

You keep getting pulled toward emotionally unavailable or inconsistent people, not because you are some sort of masochist, but because your nervous system associates that pattern with love.

Again, it’s familiar!

And until you reset your internal filter, clear that pattern out, you’ll keep attracting people who mirror that.

SO…how do we fix this?

Well, we don’t fix it by talking endlessly about your childhood.

It's helpful to learn some of the backstory, sure...but it's not enough to solve for the blocks.

That’s why you can spend years, even decades in therapy and not make much progress.

Instead, we fix it by clearing the emotional charge at the subconscious and somatic level.

That’s what my Successfully in Love® method is designed for.

We use subconscious reconditioning tools, somatic emotional release, cognitive rewiring, and science-based relationship skill-building to help you:

• Identify and clear internal blocks - in a very granular, laser focused, fast way

• Build emotional self-trust and relational clarity (aka. Should I stay or go, what do I do next, and so on)

• Rewire and upgrade what your nervous system recognizes as 'safe'

This means you can, on a subconscious, automatic, authentic level…start choosing differently...

And start behaving in a more ‘high self worth’ way, stop tolerating breadcrumbs and so on…

In a way that feels easeful, effortless, and natural.

Not forced. Not pretending to be something you're not. But natural.

You will feel grounded enough to lead your relationship into a better place, or walk away.

And no, this doesn’t always mean leaving your partner. Sometimes, it means learning how to show up, be vulnerable, and really be seen. Teaching your partner what safety looks like for you.

And shifting the entire emotional rhythm of the relationship.

With less walking on eggshells. And instead…

More connection. More freedom. More mutual respect.

More joy, more love, and ALL the good stuff.

As someone who had these blocks herself for a long time and in her first engagement, let me tell you - it is a DELICIOUS way to live once you free yourself from them. My marriage is full of certainty, confidence, peacefulness, love, joy, and a lot of wonderful feelings pretty much consistently. And you can have this too.

In fact, it starts with you!

If this feels like something you want help with, message me today.

Let’s talk about how we rewire your internal framework, so your relationship stops feeling like the strange anomaly to your success.