Are you a pushover in your relationship? Do you allow and tolerate behaviour that hurts you?

You already know that you don’t have good boundaries. You struggle to say no, and you hate conflict. In fact, you’d prefer to sweep issues under the rug rather than have a huge blow up.

But you can’t help avoid the fact you’re feeling tired and unfulfilled in your relationship - like you don’t matter anymore.

If so, you likely have hidden blocks around your own sense of self worth which are holding you back from having the relationship you want.

And until you clear out these old blocks at the root cause level, you will find yourself in this situation again, and again, and again - even if you decide to leave your partner.

Because your blocks don’t disappear on their own. 

In fact, they compound and get worse.

Now - first of all, this is actually very, very common.

At least 85% of the global population struggle with this!

Which is huge.

But, you’re not average - you’re a high performer. 

Professionally, you’re killing it.

So why does it feel so hard with your relationship?

Let me explain:

Most people who struggle to set boundaries in relationships learned, very early in life, that love was conditional.

That they were safest when they:

 – Didn’t make a fuss 

– Didn’t ask for too much 

– Didn’t upset anyone 

– Didn’t become “a problem”

Maybe you had to be the good child.

The responsible one who doesn’t cause a fuss, or ask for too much.

Or maybe affection was inconsistent, given when you performed well

But withdrawn when you disappointed someone.

So your nervous system learned that:

“If I’m easy to be with, I’m worthy of love.

If I have needs, or speak up, or cause a fuss…I risk losing it.”

So over time, that becomes a subconscious identity:

“I must earn love.”

“I shouldn’t rock the boat.”

“My needs come second.”

And as an adult, that shows up as over-tolerating behaviour that hurts you.

Or staying silent when you’re unhappy, and feeling guilty the moment you try to advocate for yourself.

All because your system is still trying to keep you emotionally safe using an outdated survival strategy.

I had a client called Marina who had this exact issue.

Marina married her childhood sweetheart, and things had been largely fine throughout their 20s.

By their 30s, she had ascended the ladder to become the family breadwinner - and so her husband stopped working to take care of the kids.

Her income was great, and she didn’t need

him to help out - but slowly over time, she began to get more and more resentful.

She valued how he took care of the kids, of course.

But as she watched him become more and more aimless, losing his sense of purpose, smoking more, she began to wonder whether him staying home was a good idea.

When she brought it up with him though, he would get defensive, and tell her she was ungrateful. 

Until eventually, she stopped mentioning it.

Resentment grew, though, and she came to me fully prepared to end things with him.

I helped her see how her wound of feeling unworthy (amongst a few others) was holding her back from advocating for her needs more - and saying what she really wanted to say.

As she reconditioned that wound, through the practices I taught her, she began to feel more confident in speaking her truth and making requests of him. 

Until eventually, she felt more met, seen, safe, and heard in the relationship.

Because she finally felt worthy of having her needs met - she was able to get them met. 

Now, she is happily committed to her husband, and he is back at work (on the back of her request). 

They're much happier together and she has stopped feeling like such a pushover, and being afraid of conflict. 

So here’s a practice you can do:

When you think of your relationship, what changes would you make to it?

And, what comes up for you when you think of these changes?

Notice if any sense of fear or guilt bubbles up. 

If so, you may have an unworthy wound that needs clearing too.

And I can help you!

In as fast as 90 days!

Message me a little bit about your situation and I can share more about my proprietary methodology to help you work through this. If it makes sense, we can jump on a call and strategise together.

Message me today.