Ever doubted your relationship? Wondered if you're with the right person?

Have you ever found yourself doubting your relationship and your partner, feeling like something is off? Wondering if they're actually the right fit for you?

And it's quite alarming, naturally, because you're invested with them and the idea of potentially leaving (and having made a 'mistake' in choosing them) is a painful pill to swallow?

So you go back and forth, pushing that thought out of your mind, telling yourself it's likely just you making things up…but you can't shift the feeling, and it keeps lingering in the back of your mind?

If so, then I have some good news for you:

It might not mean that your partner is the wrong match for you.

It might just mean that you have some old blocks from your past around intimacy and love.

Which is ultimately great, because it means you can change this - and reclaim your relationship.

Without having to even involve your partner or let them know you're doubting things.

Now, this isn't always the case.

Sometimes, it really is that your partner and you are not the right match.

You may well have outgrown them.

You may well have drifted into different directions in life, and reconciliation, reconnection, is unlikely - you're two fundamentally different people.

This absolutely does happen, and I see it with some of the clients I work with.

But many others are able to reconnect and reclaim their relationship.

How?

Well, by clearing those pesky old blocks!

You see, your mind works like a sponge - absorbing everything you see, hear, and experience around

you, and making sense of it the only way you know how at the time.

That's just how humans learn and grow in the world - partly what makes us so smart, but also what makes us so prone to picking up unhelpful patterns around love.

Because, the world isn't a very forgiving or loving place these days.

What with the societal messages we absorb ('Boys don't cry!' 'Man up!' 'You can always do better!' 'Don't make a fuss!')

And all the painful experiences we go through along the way - feeling unseen, feeling like our needs came second, feeling misunderstood - things we couldn't fully process at the time, and so we made them mean things about ourselves.

In short, we create a ton of false beliefs about who we are, and our role in the world, and what love, attachment, and intimacy mean.

And over time, those beliefs compound - and guess what - you end up with issues with love, attachment and intimacy.

Meaning, you can be in a relationship, but it sure as hell doesn't mean you're comfortable in it.

Or that you feel good in it.

Or that you trust your partner, or feel loved by them. Or that you feel understood by them.

So of course, you feel crap, and you assume that it's because of them or the relationship.

You're not a good fit.

You've outgrown each other.

But clearly, that might not be the case.

Because if you're walking around with broken glasses, seeing the world through broken lenses, you're not going to see things clearly.

Which is essentially what's happening when you're walking around with unexamined past pains. Old blocks, old patterns.

They're living inside of you, rent free, and you're seeing your life through these past experiences, assuming the past means the present.

Which of course, it doesn't.

But so much of what drives your day-to-day reality runs below conscious awareness - it's like a computer's operating system. It downloads what you tell it to download, and then runs on that. And those past blocks and pains are like viruses that get in there and screw things up.

So until you notice you're running old software, outdated, riddled with viruses, and that's why things are feeling glitchy and off, and that's why you can't even see things clearly because what you're seeing is outdated, old, crap.

It's not a reflection of reality - of the present status quo.

So rather than trying to replace your partner and date someone new…with the same archaic operating system coming to that relationship, and inevitably screwing that one up too (because guess what, you are the common denominator in your life)…

…Doesn't it make far more sense and logic to clean up the operating system and remove the viruses? Upgrade everything, bring it up to speed with the world you're in now, and operate in a more modern, current way?

With new, better beliefs about yourself and your role in the world, your relationship, intimacy, love and connection?

I think so.

Which is why when a client comes to me and tells me - "help! I think I've grown apart from my wife and need to figure out whether to stay or go…but I have no prenup and I'm terrified of the repercussions, and the kids, and my home, and my life…and ahhh"

I'm never that worried.

Because it's always a win win, from where I am standing.

Together, I will help them upgrade their internal operating system, so that they see their current reality and relationship more clearly…which is always a win.

And, from that vantage point, where they're up to date with the present, feeling lighter, happier, freer, calmer, more confident, more mature, more empowered (because their old patterns aren't running the show anymore)

We can take a fair assessment, seeing the relationship more clearly, and operating from this healthier place - and discern whether this IS the relationship for them or not.

You can't discern whether to stay or go, until you've cleared out your own garbage internally that's making you feel like crap within it.

This is where individual work can really shine.

Couples counselling can be genuinely valuable, especially for building shared understanding - but if you're both bringing an outdated internal operating system to the table, even good strategies can feel harder to land. And talking things through is a great start, but on its own it doesn't always reach the deeper patterns running the show beneath the surface.

(Proud of my capacity to be able to run with these metaphors, and I'm not a tech guru).

Does that make sense?

You can't always talk your way into clearing out old patterns, or repairing your relationship, through conversation alone.

I mean, you can, sometimes - but it can take a long time, and isn't guaranteed.

What I do believe, is that working on your internal system will help you - because you're literally clearing out the old, bringing in the new, and upgrading yourself.

In my experience, this is an absolute no brainer - whether you stay or go.

Because your odds of finding a new partner who is better for you and having a healthy, happy relationship tend to go up significantly when you do this - if you leave.

And your odds of having a delicious, nourishing, fulfilling, meaningful relationship with your current partner tend to go up too, when you do this.

So if you're ready to stop dithering and get this upgrade, DM me READY today.

I have a structured, step by step process which is honestly fantastic, and many of my clients feel happier, lighter, more free, more confident, more loving, more fulfilled, more empowered within a few months.

Just check out my testimonials and podcast where clients (who had previously tried everything else) come on and rave about this.

DM me READY today. I'll get you the clarity, connection and freedom you deserve.