Ever doubted your relationship? Wondered if you're with the right person?

Have you ever found yourself doubting your relationship and your partner, feeling like something is off? Wondering if they’re actually the right fit for you?

And it’s quite alarming, naturally, because you’re invested with them and the idea of potentially leaving (and having made a ‘mistake’ in choosing them) is a painful pill to swallow?

So you go back and forth, pushing that thought out of your mind, telling yourself it’s likely just you making things up…but you can’t shift the feeling, and it keeps lingering in the back of your mind?

If so, then I have some good news for you:

It might not mean that your partner is the wrong match for you.

It might just mean that you have some old blocks from your past around intimacy and love.

Which is ultimately great, because it means you can change this - and reclaim your relationship. Without having to even involve your partner or let them know you’re doubting things.

Now, this isn’t always the case.

Sometimes, it really is that your partner and you are not the right match.

You may well have outgrown them.

You may well have drifted into different directions in life, and reconciliation, reconnection, is unlikely - you’re two fundamentally different people.

This absolutely does happen, and I see it probably with 4 out of every 10 clients I have.

But that means that the other 6 are able to reconnect and reclaim their relationship.

How?

Well, by clearing those pesky old blocks!

You see, between the ages of 0-8 your brain is like a little sponge, with only theta waves running, meaning you’re in a light state of hypnosis - absorbing everything you see, hear, and experience, around you.

And because children have a natural egocentrism, you absorb all this data and make it about YOU.

That’s just how kids learn and grow in the world - partly what makes us so smart as humans, but also what makes us so lousy at love.

Because, the world isn’t a very forgiving or loving place these days.

What with the societal messages we have growing up (‘Boys don’t cry!’ ‘Man up!’ ‘You can always do better!’ ‘Children should be seen not heard!’)

With the messages from our parents (‘I’m so disappointed in you!’ ‘This just isn’t good enough’!)

And all the painful experiences we have - being left crying in our cot, being stranded in the park because your parents are busy tending to something else, feeling misunderstood because your parents don’t understand why you’re crying, and so on - we can’t really process (we are children) and we make them to mean things about us.

In short, we create a ton of false beliefs around ourselves about who we are, and our role in the world, and what love, attachment, and intimacy mean.

And in most cases - 64% of the population’s cases, in fact - we make this to mean pretty negative stuff.

So, fast forward 20 - 30 years, and guess what - you have issues with love, attachment and intimacy.

Meaning, you can be in a relationship, but it sure as hell doesn’t mean you’re comfortable in it.

Or that you feel good in it.

Or that you trust your partner, or feel loved by them. Or that you feel understood by them.

So of course, you feel crap, and you assume that it’s because of them or the relationship.

You’re not a good fit.

You’ve outgrown each other.

But clearly, that might not be the case.

Because if you’re walking around with broken glasses, seeing the world through broken lenses, you’re not going to see things clearly.

Which is essentially what’s happening when you’re walking around with unexamined past pains from your childhood. Old blocks, old wounds.

They’re living inside of you, rent free, and you’re seeing your life through these past experiences, assuming the past means the present.

Which of course, it doesn’t.

But your subconscious mind, which runs 97% of your life and reality, is like a computer’s operating system. It downloads what you tell it to download, and then runs on that. And those past blocks and pains are like viruses that get in there and screw things up.

So until you notice you’re running old software, outdated, riddled with viruses, and that’s why things are feeling glitchy and off, and that’s why you can’t even see things clearly because what you’re seeing is outdated, old, crap.

It’s not a reflection of reality - of the present status quo.

So rather than trying to replace your partner and date someone new…with the same archaic operating system coming to that relationship, and inevitably screwing that one up too (because guess what, you are the common denominator in your life)…

…Doesn’t it make far more sense and logic to clean up the operating system and remove the viruses? Upgrade everything, bring it up to speed with the world you’re in now, and operate in a more modern, current way?

With new, better beliefs about yourself and your role in the world, your relationship, intimacy, love and connection?

I think so.

Which is why when a client comes to me and tells me - “help! I think I’ve grown apart from my wife and need to figure out whether to stay or go…but I have no prenup and I’m terrified of the repercussions, and the kids, and my home, and my life…and ahhh”

I’m never that worried.

Because it’s always a win win, from where I am standing.

Together, I will help them upgrade their internal operating system, so that they see their current reality and relationship more clearly…which is always a win.

And, from that vantage point, where they’re up to date with the present, feeling lighter, happier, freer, calmer, more confident, more mature, more empowered (because their childhood wounding isn’t running the show anymore)

We can take a fair assessment, seeing the relationship more clearly, and operating from this healthier place - and discern whether this IS the relationship for them or not.

You can’t discern whether to stay or go, until you’ve cleared out your own garbage internally that’s making you feel like crap within it.

Which is precisely why couples counselling is so fraught and likely to fail.

You’re showing up to counselling with your partner, with both of you bringing your internal garbage to the table, trying to figure things out with pat strategies that don’t work because your internal operating system is outdated.

And also why talk therapy doesn’t work typically, because when you’re talking, you’re not going into the subconscious mind. Talking is the equivalent of trying to make the graphics nicer on your computer and looking around on the desktop trying to clear up the folders, commenting on how slow the cursor moves, without realising that the real issue is all the viruses and outdated operating systems beneath the surface.

(Proud of my capacity to be able to run with these metaphors, and I’m not a tech guru).

Does that make sense?

You can’t talk your way into cleaning up viruses. Or repairing your relationship.

I mean, you can, maybe, but it takes a heck of a long time, and isn’t guaranteed.

What IS guaranteed, is that working on your internal system will help you - because you’re literally clearing out the old, bringing in the new, and upgrading yourself.

In my experience, this is an absolute no brainer - whether you stay or go.

Because your odds of finding a new partner who is better for you and having a healthy, happy relationship are exponentially higher when you do this - if you leave.

And your odds of having a delicious, nourishing, fulfilling, meaningful relationship with your current partner go through the roof when you do this, too.

So if you’re ready to stop dithering and get this upgrade, DM me READY today.

I have a science backed, step by step process which is honestly fantastic and works relentlessly to get hundreds of clients these potent results - feeling happier, lighter, more free, more confident, more loving, more fulfilled, more empowered - within 3-6 months.

Just check out my testimonials and podcast where clients (who had previously tried everything else) come on and rave about this.

DM me READY today. I’ll get you the clarity, connection and freedom you deserve.