Here are 3 signs your relationship is in trouble, and what to do about it - so you can avoid the 'divorce month' of January.

With the month of January less than 100 days away, otherwise known as “divorce month,” when many commit to a fresh start and shed what isn’t working, here are 3 signs your relationship is in trouble…

…and what to do about it.

- You’re no longer arguing or fighting.

If you’re walking on eggshells, managing your tone, and avoiding topics that might trigger your partner, that’s a red flag: you’ve shutdown.

Avoiding conflict doesn’t mean things are calm. It often means one or both of you have emotionally withdrawn. I.e. You've stopped caring.

According to relationship research, couples who avoid conflict altogether are at higher risk of breaking up. Why? Because conflict, when handled well, is a sign you still actually care enough to fight for change.

What you need is the ability to engage without escalating. That starts by managing your own internal response system.

Because your triggers aren’t random. They’re based on old emotional wiring, or what I call your inner blocks. These often form early on and sound like:

• “If I speak up, I’ll be abandoned.”

• “If I push back on them, I’ll be unlovable.”

• “If I need too much, I’ll be rejected.”

Until these internal belief systems are cleared, you’ll either shut down, run away, or blow up. And neither of these behaviors brings you closer.

- You’re fantasizing about other people.

Attraction to others isn’t the problem. It’s a symptom.

If someone outside the relationship feels more emotionally accessible, more attuned, more curious about you...

Then your needs inside the relationship are likely being ignored or dismissed. 

Or worse, you’ve stopped expressing them altogether.

This doesn’t mean you’re destined for an affair. Or that the other person is somehow your soulmate.

But it is a sign your emotional needs have gone unmet long enough to create internal friction and disconnect - and this needs solving for, fast.

The solution isn’t to chase the spark elsewhere. 

It’s to get radically clear on what you're missing, and what you haven’t been voicing.

Once that’s clear, you can build a strategic way to address those needs directly: through the relationship, or around it.

Intimacy starts with radical honesty. First with yourself!

- Your relationship only brings companionship or “stability.”

If your partner’s role is to co-parent, split bills, and fill the other half of the dinner table, that’s not a romantic relationship unfortunately - that’s an old contract you've settled into. 

And often a codependent one.

When a relationship loses its relational value, the friendship, fun, trust, depth, alchemy, you are ‘settling'. And sadly, many high-achievers stay out of obligation, guilt, or simply inertia. 

Often a fear of failure, or a fear of change drives our behaviors.

But healthy romantic partnerships require shared value creation. That means both of you contributing something meaningful to each other’s life, beyond logistics.

You have a shared vision, a shared path.

The fix is getting radically clear on what you want out of your relationship, and how you want it to be. What does a truly compatible relationship look like for you now, not five years ago? Who do you need to become to attract and sustain it?

That often means rewriting the relationship contract altogether. That’s a very mature evolution that almost all healthy couples have to go through - though it’s tricky in the process, granted.

Because here’s the problem:

These patterns and shifts are often super hard to try to get rid of on your own.

You have your blind spots, the areas where you feel vulnerable, scared, or unable to go into.

Think about it - if you were able to change it by yourself, you would have by now, right?

Plus, your subconscious mind is an absolute wizard at hiding things from you that it doesn’t feel ready to let you see. That's why you can spend forever thinking about things, and not get far.

And these patterns don’t shift through more talking. 

Or another therapist asking, “And how does that make you feel?” 

Because talk therapy also has its limits. Especially when your core issues live in your subconscious, your nervous system, your emotional reflexes, your belief blueprint.

You can’t think your way out of something that was wired into you decades ago.

That’s why my work starts deeper.

Having spent 15+ years in therapy and done oodles of couples counseling myself, only to find myself more and more frustrated, I created a faster and more effective solution. 

One that works with your hidden parts to get results where talking just doesn’t.

In my Successfully in Love® method, we bypass surface-level processing and work directly on:

• Clearing the subconscious blocks that keep you stuck in cycles

• Rewiring your emotional reflexes to help you feel secure, not reactive

• Building clarity on what you actually need in a relationship that lasts

• Developing strategic tools to either repair your connection—or leave it with clarity, confidence, and care

If you’re reading this and realizing that something needs to change before 2026...

Message me.

I can help you. Because you can have a strategy and proven system that helps you protect your peace, your joy, your family, and your future.

You can check out my methodology here: www.successfullyinlove.com/litestimonial 

I'd love to help you. I have a handful of spots left until the end of the year - so message me today.