How do some people seem to have it all? Why you likely have an upper limit problem.

Ever wondered why it seems like some folks can go on to make their millions with relative ease, have a delicious love-filled marriage, and look like a beacon of excellent health…

…whilst you seem to be tired, frustrated, and keep hitting a plateau? Like you can't seem to break through to the next level?

Well, I'm willing to bet you have an internal block problem :)

And the solution is NOT the new strategy for business, or wealth planning, or dating or whatever it might be that you need, and actually about breaking through these blocks.

Because unless you are on Cloud 9 already, you will absolutely have a ton of blocks.

In fact, you will almost certainly have an upper limit problem which comes from all your internal blocks.

This is a psychological idea that explains how people self-sabotage themselves without realizing it when they hit a certain level of success, happiness, or fulfillment they believe they deserve.

This can happen in your romantic relationships, your career, your finances, or your health - any arena, really.

The idea behind it is that everyone, including yourself, has a comfort zone of what they can tolerate and what feels 'safe' based on past experiences, beliefs, and conditioning. I like to call these beliefs and conditioning patterns 'blocks' - because that's quite literally what they do most of the time.

They block you from achieving your full potential.

And they feel 'safe' because you've had these for basically your whole life.

I often call them hidden blocks, or past pains, or old patterns, limiting beliefs - there are lots of terms for them.

These frustrating blocks create your upper limit problems by acting as an internal thermostat, limiting how much success, love, or happiness you allow yourself before pulling back without realizing it.

They can come from all sorts of sources - past experiences, environments you've been in, relationships you've had.

If you were taught that success comes with a cost (e.g., "rich people are greedy" or "happiness doesn't last"), you might resist too much success without realizing it.

If you developed a belief that you are "unworthy" or "not good enough" (which is very common) you will believe deep down that you are not worthy of great wealth or comfort, so you will sabotage it when it comes to you.

If love and attention have often felt inconsistent, you may have formed the belief that intimacy is not safe and you are perhaps "unlovable" or "will be betrayed", so your nervous system now associates deep connection with danger—leading to sabotage when relationships feel too good.

I know for me, for example, I had huge blocks around feeling "rejected" and also feeling "bad". For a long stretch of my life, I felt like an outsider, like I didn't quite belong, and like people didn't understand who I really was. So I developed beliefs that I was somehow a "bad" person that was "rejected" and no one wanted.

It sounds extreme, but these are all deeply hidden beliefs that you'd never think about rationally…but they stay stuck in your mind, form your outlook on the world, and then go onto SHAPE how you experience the world.

So later in life, needless to say, I was often the "lone wolf" at work, I would often leave the country and start anew to be an expat (which quietly mimicked my sense of being "rejected", because I was repeatedly foreign so often), and I was absolutely TERRIFIED of doing anything wrong that would prove my deepest fear and belief that I was somehow "bad".

But enough about me. ;)

When you start exceeding this internal limit (which will be unique to you)—in whatever area of your life—you will inadvertently yet inevitably start to self-sabotage.

So what might happen is you:

• Start to create problems - you pick a fight, start procrastinating, make bad decisions, ignore your gut instinct, nit pick on the negative…

• Experience anxiety or guilt about your success. Maybe you start to worry that you are going to stand out more now, or people are going to judge you, or you're abandoning your family if you keep climbing the ladder, or you're somehow greedy or bad.

• Sabotage opportunities by downplaying achievements or avoiding bigger risks. You quietly feel like it's all a bit too much so you start shying away from the next steps.

• Feel undeserving, and somehow unworthy, which makes you act out in negative automatic behaviors that bring you back down.

I know for me, for example, my upper limit problem would manifest as anxiety, feeling undeserving, and then withdrawing from people.

When I unexpectedly got my fully funded scholarship to the University of Oxford for example, after I'd hustled hard for a year living in Dubai saving up to pay for my Masters degree (as a foreigner, no less), I was initially thrilled (lots of champagne, celebrations) but then spiralled into serious anxiety, self-doubt, a sense of unworthiness, and fear that I would screw it up. I actually nearly dropped out in my first semester thinking I was doing a terrible job (which I wasn't at all).

Luckily I already knew many of the tools and techniques I teach clients these days, so I was able to pull myself out of it, smash through my internal blocks, and actually went on to become top of my cohort and win lots more awards (not to toot my own horn, but at this point, why not? ;)).

Other examples of the upper limit problem flaring up include:

• In relationships: You finally get the partner, things seem like they're going great, and then you suddenly 'get the ick' and start finding them annoying, or unattractive. Or perhaps you start micro analyzing their flaws, and starting unnecessary arguments. Or maybe you get cold feet because it all feels like it's moving too fast, or you start to feel trapped and suffocated, so you want out. Or maybe (as was my case for many years) you start to get paranoid that they don't REALLY love you and thus you need to try harder, do more, and somehow earn their love more.

• In career: Here, you might start to procrastinate after you get a big promotion. Or you start being sloppy with your attention to detail after you get a bonus. Or you start withdrawing from your colleagues after being promoted. Perhaps you simply don't feel confident in what you're doing, and your self sabotage is that you don't ask for help, so you end up spiralling into more and more mistakes.

• In money: This is a huge one for most people. Perhaps you land a high-paying client, then you start neglecting them without even realising it. Or you achieve a certain level of wealth but then you spend it all, or gamble it away. Perhaps you hit a certain income level and fail to preserve the money. Or you end up in debt. Or in addictions. This is a common one we see with tons of celebrities - just have a Google and see how many folks are susceptible to this!

Now, the solution to this is to break through these blocks (makes sense, right?).

And the way that you want to do this is by:

1. Identifying what the blocks are through going inward and deep

2. Clearing out and replacing these blocks by updating old patterns

3. Building trust in yourself to deepen your sense of self worth and 'good enoughness' so that you really solidify your capacity to HOLD what it is that you are seeking.

4. Creating strategies to PRESERVE what it is that you are seeking like healthy boundaries.

All of this needs to take place, at least in some part, on a deeper level.

Which is unfortunately not always what a therapist or counsellor or career coach or wealth advisor, or anyone not trained in this kind of deep pattern work, can help you with. In fact, it's often not even just ONE technique you need, but a combination of them to really help entrench the new 'you' and help you overcome the 'old' you that kept you stuck.

Talk therapy can provide real insight, emotional validation, and coping strategies - and it has genuine value. But on its own, it can fall short of updating deeper patterns, because those patterns often operate beyond logic and language alone.

If it did, then you could just tell yourself you're a billionaire and bingo, you'd achieve it.

Not that simple.

Old conditioning and beliefs are often stored in the body and nervous system as much as in the mind, and they live beyond 'words'. So just talking about your beliefs doesn't always change them - and can sometimes leave you feeling like you understand the pattern perfectly, yet are still stuck in it.

You need someone who can help you with updating these deeper patterns, working with the body, and integrating the different aspects of how you respond.

Which is precisely what I do!

I love helping high achievers like yourself achieve their next level of success - and would love to help you with this too.

I have multiple ways to help you, from an intensive 90 day program to a longer engagement with a monthly subscription to my support to really entrench the changes - and watch you soar to new heights.

I'll work with you personally to figure out what's best for your situation.

Whether you want to focus on your career and wealth or your relationship, it's all interconnected - and I can absolutely help you with it all.

If this sounds good to you, schedule a 20-minute call with me today and let's chat.